Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Continuing a Debate

On the contrary, Sita does have the characters I aspire towards.

She is learned, rich, beloved of her parents.
She marries a valiant and handsome prince, one who is deserving of her and who must prove this worth.
She is loyal and loving and would rather live uncomfortably in forests with her husband than without him in the comfort of a palace.
She is playful and wants a golden deer.
She remains loyal to Ram during captivity.
She trusts Ram to remain loyal towards her. Upon rescue she does not demand an agni pariksha of him though she could have wondered what Ram had been up to while she was away.
Her trust matches her love.
After the washerman incident she leaves Ram's palace to never return.
Her self esteem is fiercer than her love.
She is proud and capable and does an excellent job at being a single parent.
Her sons can defeat kings, including their wise father, at war and at logics.
She is as intellegent as she is strong.
When Ram, harrowed by guilt, loneliness and love asks Sita to forgive and return to him she is willing to forgive but not forget.
She will not return. She will rather die.

Sita’s suicide makes me shiver.
Her pride makes me shiver.
The lies that are woven around her name makes me shiver.

I wasn’t taught to view her final act as anything but a supernatural episode. But perhaps, I think, when pestered by royalty she jumped into the river. Perhaps she walked away into a thick forest from which she never emerged. Perhaps she simply said no. Perhaps she said to her sons, choose, and they chose and so she left. Perhaps she said to Ram he was no longer worth her.

She is an admirable woman but I wouldn’t want to worship her, not because she is not worth the worship but because the centuries have distorted her image, made her weak, simplified her, forgotten her as anything other than Ram’s consort. The centuries have removed the complexity from the text.

If there is a temple for Sita, there should also be one for Draupadi.
Draupadi teaches me how I can continue to live in an unfair world without losing my place.
Why are children not named Draupadi?

I don’t want Sita to be a goddess in the same way I don’t want fire around children. Children are careless and mean and more often than not will create disaster with fire. They will set the house to fire. They will burn ants and butterflies.
I don’t want Sita to be a goddess the same way I don’t want fire around moths.
Moths will be fascinated with what they cannot handle.

Perhaps when we mature, perhaps when we can understand better, perhaps then we can return to Sita.
But for till then, I wouldn’t mind if her name and her tales were removed from our minds, completely, without a trace…